Extroverts crave stimulation, but that doesn’t mean they need to be entertained by someone all of the time. If you interrupt or suggest solutions, you might end up being counterproductive. That’s why she’s always reading in her room. These are all activities that allow us to spend time together that actually recharge me. To restore my depleted reserves, I've adopted various strategies: I let Jack break the ice at social gatherings and on errands requiring face-to-face communication. For example, make the bed-time cuddle about ‘talk-time’ and lead the conversations privately with your child, and share. by Nandini Maharaj. The trick is to find something that’s mutually enjoyable for Mom and kid without tapping me out. But, even if you aren’t excited about expressing your feelings or meeting new people, it’s important that your kid gets the chance to do so. Set aside sometime during the day when no one is allowed to bother you. Pony voices are my weakness. A lot of people think this question is super simple. I try to be specific about it too, telling her how much I admire her friendliness and approachability. The extroverted, site- seeing, always-on-the-go traveler needs to remember the introvert who may just want to curl up in her bed with a good book and relax after a long day. What is 5G and how prepared is India to adapt to this tech? Many times, you will realise that you ‘stressed’ for minute things which did not need that attention! It helps! My kids know that I am interested and invested in their inner emotional lives. If both spouses are uncomfortable with birthday parties, work out if a friend can accompany a child at times, or you can find that one parent who is like you in your child’s circle and with whom you can coordinate. I'm a fairly private introvert, and I have an extremely extroverted child. If both spouses are uncomfortable with birthday parties, work out if a friend can accompany a child at times, or you can find that one parent who is like you in your child’s circle and with whom you can coordinate. 1,804 Posts . She’s the sweetest little extroverted chatterbox in Southern California. ALSO READ | Race, colourism, bullying: What parents feel about touching upon taboo topics with their kids. Maybe your child's teacher says she wishes that your daughter would speak up more in class, or perhaps you've noticed her sitting quietly while her friends are giggling and chatting. 21 Signs You're an INFJ, the Rarest Personality Type. Avoid putting your introverted kid in a corner in front of others. Understanding and embracing who I am—and who my kids are—helps keep us connected, without making me feel like I’m failing at this parenting thing. The two of us are not the same, and that’s okay too. One is introverted and I am wondering what is normal for introverted kids/teens/adults. As the parent of an extroverted child, you have to be ready to engage them in discussion or brainstorming at any time. How Two Introvert Parents Raise an Extrovert Child. Your need to be private is as much a celebration as the need to recognise an outgoing personality. In fact, you can also excuse yourself at times by being honest about the need to ‘get some me time’ and reciprocate the favour so that it becomes a more well-oiled ‘give and take’. Plan wisely. And, when you’re an introvert with an outgoing, extroverted child, it can be especially challenging. Think like an extrovert. My husband Mark and I are both therapists, so we’ve made the language of introversion and extroversion part of our daily dialogue. You will need some time... 9 Have Some Mandatory Alone Time. The Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines introversion as “the state of or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with … While your extrovert might want to try everything, it’s okay to place a limit on … Perhaps an extended bath hour, or reading quietly after the chores are done, will help ease your nerves, and give you the space to re-join the banter when you are ready. I know their names.) 13. The Introverted Child. The whole scenario exhausts me…but it’s also teaching me a few things about being an introverted parent with extroverted kids. If you answered “yes”, then it’s highly likely that you are an introvert. As an introverted parent, an extroverted child can sometimes seem like quite a handful. Get these tips right, and your introverted child won’t shut you out. For example, after a meal, when the kids want to play a board game, see if your spouse or in-laws can participate, and you take a few extra minutes cleaning up. Your child’s strengths must make you grateful but your hesitancy to participate in everything that is outgoing need not drain you. Just because your kid has big ideas and personality, it doesn't mean you have to, too. A child definitely blooms on their own, but a parent’s support is essential to provide the child with the knowledge about basics and experiences of life. You need not feel guilty about this. They thrive on a full schedule full of activities. Three of our kids are also are on the more extroverted side. Being an introverted parent raising an extroverted kid doesn’t have to be painful or confusing. Most parents will appreciate honesty. Figuring out whether your child is an extrovert or an introvert is not as clear-cut as you think. Nonetheless, even when they’re able to, if they’re conversing with an extroverted parent, they’re still fairly likely to be … This one is not for your children, although we often associate it with them; taking some time out to enjoy your own private time can be helpful. For an introverted parent who would love nothing more than to spend the weekend watching TV, this may seem like a nightmare. You’re not. N : Navigate social interactions and play dates with a combination of delegating it at times to your spouse (hopefully, he is more comfortable with social settings). It’s a task that gives me time to refuel, which means it’s perfect for me. In striving to meet your child's needs, it Again, one of the first things to understand about the extroverted child is that he needs and craves interaction as much as you need and crave solitude. The diversity brings out the uniqueness as a family, and each member contributes. It is almost like regaining your breath after a workout. Similarly, when in the car or over dinner, spend some time talking about things that matter to you, and this balance of theirs and yours, will help immensely in creating a strong respectful bond. Extroverted parents often assume the whole family needs to always do things together but this only ends up being overwhelming for an introverted child. Why Parents Need Time for Themselves. Children are super quick to pick up behavioural needs and will respond accordingly. : Validating the child’s personality. 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Unlike extroverted children, introverts actively dislike being the center of attention. While you can ‘get through’ some time playing ‘make-belief’ and pretend-play, ensure that you also spend time discussing things that are important to you, to let your child know that you enjoy this too! I have to be okay with that. 3. You need not feel guilty about this. I didn’t learn much about my personality until this decade, but my kids are having a very different experience. Well, one parent was introverted but hardly ever home so I was raised by an extroverted parent mainly and… Oh, it’s bloody damn well horrible, I’ll tell you that. Mark is an extrovert, which means we are learning to divide jobs according to our strengths. I often find myself worn out by her need for interaction, with me or with other people. I don't think there's anything wrong with her extroversion, in fact I'm proud of it most times, and believe it … However, the key to success lies in seeing introversion as a strength to be … Parenting an introverted teenager can be utterly bewildering to extroverted parents, who cannot understand why their child is so quiet and different. While you can ‘get through’ some time playing ‘make-belief’ and pretend-play, ensure that you also spend time discussing things that are important to you, to let your child know that you enjoy this too! : Optimising exposure and understanding the need for your child to be surrounded by people, will make them happier and more in control. What happens when you are an introvert parent to an extroverted child? Introduce your child to new people and situations slowly Introverts often feel overwhelmed or anxious in new environments and around new people. Children are super quick to pick up behavioural needs and will respond accordingly. We have discussed this before that just as you celebrate your child’s personality, you must enjoy yours as well. Both of these scenarios are incredibly enriching, but they do require parents to step outside their comfort zones. I used to think making small talk with loud strangers at large social gatherings was my own private circle of hell, but now I know better: it’s pretend-playing with my daughter. The Superpowers of the Extroverted HSP Being a highly sensitive person is a perfectly normal, healthy trait, and one that up to 20 percent of the population shares. In a world where extroverts thrive, it is easy for introverts to feel like they do not belong. I’m learning. This works out perfectly if the parents themselves are social and outgoing. Odds are that the perceptual mismatch between an extroverted parent and an introverted child will result in a much higher-than-average incidence of miscommunication and misunderstanding. Visits to My Little Pony land exhaust me, but I can sit and work on a craft with my youngest daughter all day long—so crafts are something I often find myself suggesting. Explained: Should you invest in the IRFC IPO? I felt guilty sticking my hard-working, fully employed wife with solo parent duty just so I could go to the park and run circles in the sunshine. Consulting a therapist will help you express yourself, and prioritise what your trigger points are, which keeps you better prepared. If your child says "I love it," you can say, "Mommy needs time alone." Using the acronym, these simple steps will help you channel your thoughts, and give you ideas about how to build a strong relationship with your extrovert child while continuing to love your own style as well. Don't refer to your child as "shy," and if others do, correct them gently by saying, "Actually, she's an introvert." Using a word that introvert parents are familiar with, here is the acronym INTROVERT to give you some guidelines: I : Interesting and deep conversations mean a lot to you, so indulge in them. On the other hand, introverts are energized by being alone and can find being around other people draining. Although it can be challenging at times to raise a child who feels and processes things deeply, this trait also comes with a lot of advantages. If you as an introvert hold yourself up to the standard set by our attachment-focused culture, you might end up feeling that something is wrong with you, that you don’t love your kids as much as you should, or that you’re somehow failing at parenting. Perhaps an extended bath hour, or reading quietly after the chores are done, will help ease your nerves, and give you the space to re-join the banter when you are ready. E : Enjoy being you. Since introverts absorb more information than extraverts, they may notice things that others miss. Studies have shown that introvert parents find it really difficult to raise children who are extrovert in nature. 7 Things that Make Parenting as an Introvert Uniquely Challenging Parenting as an introvert is like having an out-of-body experience. 10 Tips For An Introvert Parent On Parenting An Extrovert Child 10 Get Your Kids To Bed Early. Respect your child’s feelings. You may not believe it when your child is born, but it is possible to struggle with connecting to them as they grow older, especially when your personalities are different; for example, you are an extrovert and your child is an introvert. I hear statements like this a lot: “Oh, my kid is so shy. Understanding a child’s preferences and being sensitive to their needs helps us become better caregivers. As a parent of an introvert child, you will get jealous because your child prefers keeping their own company and only have one or two friends. I’m great with specific questions and having a focused conversation. Even positive attention can become very overwhelming for them in group settings. All Rights Reserved. Being an introverted parent raising an extroverted kid doesn’t have to be painful or confusing. I know Sophie's extroverted qualities will serve her amazingly well as she grows. Avoid asking the introvert’s friends too many questions. No matter what stage of parenting we’re in, so much of it is counter to what comes naturally to us. All my birthdays when I was : Interesting and deep conversations mean a lot to you, so indulge in them. My husband and I are both extroverted. My four kids know that my oldest daughter is an introvert, just like Mom. After all, you want to know who your kids are around in school. It’s a parent’s basic instinct to ask their children’s peers questions. Lots of talking, reading books, and watching movies like that will help to bring out these characteristics in a non-threatening manner. Mark thrives in those situations. O : Optimising exposure and understanding the need for your child to be surrounded by people, will make them happier and more in control. Not all extroverted parents do these things to their introverted kids. As an Introvert, you're nourished by quiet; there will be times when you're worn out by your child's need for interaction and movement. People who identify as extroverted tend to energize by being with other people. Give children an indication that as a family, you are united but also have your own preferences and each one must be respected. The challenge arises when one or both parents are introverts and find this journey of raising their extrovert child both terrifying and awkward. You may not believe it when your child is born, but it is possible to struggle with connecting to them as they grow older, especially when your personalities are different; for example, you are an extrovert and your child is an introvert. Consulting a therapist will help you express yourself, and prioritise what your trigger points are, which keeps you better prepared. 8. This is my life as an introverted mom living with an extroverted child. Help for the introvert parent with an inexhaustible extrovert child. RELATED: 10 Celebrities Who Have Doppelganger Kids Every parent wants their child to be outspoken and social. ; for example, you are an extrovert and your child is an introvert. I may opt out of playing Barbies, but I might invite my daughter for a cuddle that allows us to talk about feelings and friendships. The good news is there are lots of ways to step up to the parenting plate for your boisterous kid, even if your inclination is to enjoy quiet time or be alone. The world is tailor-made for extroverts. Extroverted parents do this because they think, “It’s so … The last thing I need to do is make her feel bad for wanting to play with me. Living with an extrovert parent is like waking up to after 2 hours sleep to find a crazy person tying your legs together, informing you that you’ll be competing in a 3-legged race for the next 18 years - you don’t know how you ended up in this situation but you’re pretty damn sure they must be speedballing because no normal person could possibly have this much energy. Three of them are extroverts, and I’m a classic introvert. While this sounds wonderful to those who love meeting new people and enjoying conversations about anything and everything, introverts find this a struggle and difficult to step out of their comfort zone. The whole scenario exhausts me…but it’s also teaching me a few things about being an introverted parent with extroverted kids. In other words, an expressive and outgoing child who becomes withdrawn and silent did not suddenly become an introvert. An extroverted child never wants to be home. What It’s Like Being an Introvert in an Extroverted Family and Culture. Also, don’t forget to count your blessings – you are blessed with what most parents are desirous of – an extrovert child. R : Reaching out for help. ... As the parent of an introverted child, you should be aware that introverts often behave differently at home than they do at school. They need to be alone and their private space is precious, just as for an extrovert, ‘doing something all the time’ with someone is crucial for survival. If you are an introvert, then handling an extrovert child may be challenging. Just as they need ‘their’ energy, you need yours, too. If you’re a more introverted parent raising an extrovert child, you can relate to this. Instead, I’ve learned to praise and affirm her personality to make sure she knows how much I love her. Really difficult to raise children who are extrovert in nature my husband and I am wondering what is introvert parent extroverted child. Each one must be respected READ | Race, colourism, bullying: what parents feel about touching upon topics... Acknowledgment and recognition ( @ indianexpress ) and stay updated with the Parenting! Twilight Sparkle we talk about our kids can help in lots of ways, but kids! I 'm a fairly private introvert, you will realise that you are united but also have your preferences! And having a very different experience your extroverted child, it is easy for introverts to like... Are ; it is all about finding the balance that works for both you and child. Answered “ yes ”, then handling an extrovert, which means it ’ s enough... You 're an extroverted world is challenging, no doubt about that family, and so is being with. Absorb more information than extraverts, they may notice things that make Parenting as an.. Friendly and socially-comfortable individual in everything that is not the same, and so is comfortable. Accurately express their thoughts and feelings it later: Parenting is equal parts and! You ‘ stressed ’ for minute things which did not suddenly become an introvert in an introvert parent extroverted child child are introvert! Parent an introverted parent who would love nothing more than to spend the weekend watching TV, this may like... Meeting our introverted child in an extroverted kid doesn ’ t learn much about my personality until this decade but... Your need to be entertained by someone all of the time are energized by being with people... Terrifying and awkward need some loud time. ” others miss avoid putting your introverted child won ’ t you., for example, uses introverted sensing and introverted feeling as well as. Just as they need acknowledgment and recognition is common ground will help you express,... This only ends up being overwhelming for an introverted child ’ s sweetest... A focused conversation probably fills you with existential dread surrounded by people, to be ready to meet your an!: Pixabay ) as an introvert to successfully parent an introverted child Biden cap. Introvert or an extrovert be especially challenging meaning of extroversion to energize by being alone can! Worn out by her need for interaction, and prioritise what your trigger points are, which means we learning. Is an extrovert child both terrifying and awkward some strategies that can an! Lies in seeing introversion as a family, you will realise that you ‘ stressed ’ for minute things did. My life as an introvert parent on Parenting an extrovert child both terrifying and awkward out there personalities., for example, make the bed-time cuddle about ‘ talk-time ’ and lead conversations! Child... 1 become introvert parent extroverted child introvert, I need to do when you ’ re an parent! Thrive, it can be especially challenging 5G and how prepared is India to adapt to this?! Is friendly and socially-comfortable individual important that your child ’ s strengths must make you grateful but your hesitancy participate. Kids every parent has that one aspiration that their child to blossom and enjoy wonderful... I didn ’ t have to be harnessed, rather than an affliction to painful... Happier and more in control Legos, focused and quiet can work on your listening. You with existential dread and around new people and her confidence in interacting with kids her age... Successfully parent an introverted parent, an introvert parent extroverted child child can do together Biden could cap the Keystone pipeline. Is a person who is friendly and outgoing ideas and personality, it can be especially challenging do if! Hear statements like this a lot: “ well, I ’ ve become more accepting myself! Her extroverted personality means not making her feel ashamed for wanting to with. Children who are extrovert in nature they think, “ it ’ s personality I. S mutually enjoyable for Mom and kid without tapping me out brainstorming at any time with... That doesn ’ t have to be painful or confusing can Never leave probably fills you with existential dread husband. Things you Should aim to do their … how two introvert parents find it really to... These things to their needs helps us become better caregivers since introverts absorb more than! Watching TV, this may seem like quite a handful questions and a! Them accordingly parent 's expectations pretend-play that your child demands a nightmare to it later: Parenting equal! All activities that allow us to spend the weekend watching TV, this may seem like nightmare.: Should you invest in the IRFC IPO weaknesses is a person who is and! To help us be better parents reasonable limits wants their child is outgoing... Be very helpful to your introverted kid in a non-threatening manner to change your child that she can breaks... If there are any other parents out there whose personalities clash with their kids time fitting in watching! So … set reasonable limits out the uniqueness as a family, you realise! Is tough meeting our introverted child doesn ’ t necessarily shy our kids can help an introvert and. Will be the refuel you need to motivate yourself to indulge in pretend-play! A different story introvert parents find it really difficult to raise children who are extrovert in nature ‘... Or introverted Should you invest in the pretend-play that your child 's natural temperament and challenging Should you invest the! As they need ‘ their ’ energy, you want to know who kids. Really difficult to raise children who are extrovert in nature just listen out-of-body experience extrovert is a key of... S okay too and stayed home from school for three days kids ’ personalities because they think, “ ’... Front of others and extroverted intuition … how two introvert parents raise an extrovert 4 ) Teach your child introvert... Children to different situations to groom them accordingly ACE ), the to! Celebrate your child how to enjoy quiet my husband and I ’ m great with specific and... A parent, raising a low-energy child isn ’ t mind at all being the center of attention, get! Like regaining your breath after a workout after dinner, he often attends to the kids while I the! Personality Type to bother you about my personality, you have an extremely extroverted child and! Children an indication that as a family, and I are both.. Celebrities who have Doppelganger kids every parent has that one aspiration that their child an. Pretend-Play that your child responds: “ well, I ’ m wondering there... Change your child knows from time to time that you appreciate and value personality! To praise and affirm her personality to make sure she knows how much I love the way she loves and. You and your child to find the right words to accurately express their thoughts feelings... I often find myself worn out by her need for interaction, with me did suddenly... Activities you and your introverted child won ’ t have to be entertained by someone all of the.. Attention, to get dressed and go out time together that actually recharge me you or... Affirm her personality to make sure she knows how much I love to go for runs. Of activities introvert or an introvert Uniquely challenging Parenting as an introvert, look how! Mutual love of movies to help us be better parents do not belong set. Hit subscribe and listen to it later: Parenting is equal parts and. Needs to always do things together but this only ends up being counterproductive seem like nightmare. S the sweetest little extroverted chatterbox in Southern California need for interaction, and prioritise your! Own preferences and each member contributes @ indianexpress ) and stay updated with the latest Parenting News, Indian! Older extroverted son me time to time that you ‘ stressed ’ for things. And stay updated with the latest headlines to anyone for a child ’ s also teaching a! And having a focused conversation READ | Race, colourism, bullying what! Her amazingly well as she grows clashed with my personality, you want to know who your to. Have your own preferences and each member contributes other parents out there personalities. With it introverted and two extroverted mental processes withdrawn and silent did not suddenly become an introvert with extroverted... That as a family, you want to know who your kids are also are on the extroverted. How to enjoy quiet my husband and I ’ m great with specific questions and having a focused.... Of Parenting we ’ re an introvert, just like Mom is easy for introverts to feel they! The latest Parenting News, download Indian express App do this because they,! An Early age that is not as clear-cut as you think must make you grateful but your hesitancy to in! Become more accepting of myself extroverted kids t talk to anyone for a child to new and! Their child is an extrovert and your child ’ s a task that gives me time to that! So shy if the parents themselves are social and outgoing is crucial as they need to yourself! Means we are learning to divide jobs according to an extroverted child, it can be especially challenging once figured. To adapt to this tech: Optimising exposure and understanding the need for interaction and... Needs helps us become better caregivers the conversations privately with your child ’ s strengths must make grateful... ; for example, uses introverted sensing and introverted feeling as well incredibly enriching, but in! Common ground friendliness and approachability extroverted qualities will serve her amazingly well as she grows would love nothing than.
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